What's Plaguing the Mets?

Why is this night different from all other nights? For Mets fans it certainly isn't, as our team staggered to yet another loss. Yes, you may have been reclining and eating unleavened bread during the game, but in the end the result was more of the same.

With the Mets having already lost more games (12) than plagues (10) by the second night of Passover (the annual day of regretting passing over Orlando Hudson to play second base), it seems like an appropriate time to analyze what exactly has been plaguing the Mets.

1) Water turned to blood - We thought we were getting the equivalent of Perrier in Jason Bay. Instead Bay has turned to blood (injuries), soiling the flowing river of offense that could have been.

2) Frogs - Frogs are green, which is one color the Mets are lacking as their owner remains the target of a $1 billion lawsuit and ticket sales dwindle.

3) Lice - Also known as gnats, which is fitting considering that even the lowly Nats have tortured the Mets already this season.

4) Wild beasts - The biggest beast of them all, Troy Tulowitski, feasted on Mets pitchers last week.

5) Disease on livestock - From Bay to Reyes to Santana to Beltran, our most productive livestock has been hit with disease (injuries) way to often the past few years. They haven't produced a glass of milk or a golden egg in a long time.

6) Boils - The Mets look good from afar. But then you look closer and see all the blemishes. Whether its an all star who can't hit in the clutch, a five tool player with no baseball IQ, or a talented pitcher who is a complete headcase, the Mets are full of "boils".

7) Hail - What's worse than watching the Mets lose in person? Watching them lose in person while sitting in horrible weather. That's been the case way to often this April.

8) Locusts - Just as locusts destroy farms, most of our best crops have failed to grow to their potential. From Generation K to Alex Escobar to Lastings Milledge to Fernando Martinez, our farm has produced too many rotten products.

9) Darkness - It's been a period of darkness for Mets fans ever since Adam Wainwright turned out the lights in Game 6. And if you've ever driven past Citi Field in October, you can see just how dark that place can be.

10) Death of the first born - Johan Santana, our #1 starter who we all love like our own son, sits on the DL.

And that, kids, is the story of the Mets struggles. But now that these ten plagues have been delivered, the Mets can finally be freed from the contract of Oliver Perez and the chains of losing baseball.

After what has felt like forty years of wandering in the bottom of the standings, Sandy Alderson is finally here to hopefully lead the Mets to the promised land (a.k.a the playoffs).